JOKE OF THE DAY: The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Smith's mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Smith, your mother died, report to the commander." Later that day the Captain called the Serg
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JOKE OF THE DAY: The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I ju…
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JOKE OF THE DAY: Stanley is looking for a new desk for his office and he spots one that looks perfect in an antique shop window. He goes inside and asks the shopkeeper how much it is. “That desk is going for $5000,” says the shopkeeper. “$5000 for an old desk? That’s outrageous!” exclaims Stanley. “Ah,” says the shopkeeper, “but this is a magic desk.” He turns to the desk and asks, “Desk, how much money do I have in my pocket?” The desk taps one of its legs on the floor four times. The shopkeepe
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JOKE OF THE DAY: Stanley is looking for a new desk for his offi…
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JOKE OF THE DAY: Three guys are sitting in a bar. Suddenly the first guy’s phone rings, he immediately answered it then without saying anything he ran out the door only to rush back, quickly throws 10-dollar bills on the bar while muttering, “Damn I forgot to do the dishes, the wife’s on the way home.” Then he ran faster than before. The second guy chuckled. “Take a look at that! You know around my house I call the shots,” he says as he got up and take out his wallet to pay for his drink. “The m
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JOKE OF THE DAY: Three guys are sitting in a bar. Suddenly the first …
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JOKE OF THE DAY: A retired Army General moves into a new apartment after quitting service. Over the next few weeks, his new neighbors realized that on the weekends he would return to his apartment at 2am very drunk, remove his left boot and slam it on the floor, remove his right boot and slam it on the floor even harder and then go to sleep. Since the force of these thunderous slams was enough to wake up almost everyone around him, and this was a family complex no less, the neighbors decided to
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JOKE OF THE DAY: A retired Army General moves into a new apartm…
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JOKE OF THE DAY: The banker saw his old friend Tom, an 80-year old rancher, on his farm. Tom had lost his wife a year or so before, and rumor had it that he was marrying a ‘mail order’ bride. Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true. Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be. Tom proudly said, “She’ll be 21 in November.” Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the a young woman could not be satisfied by an
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JOKE OF THE DAY: The banker saw his old friend Tom, an 80-year old …
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JOKE OF THE DAY: When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the
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JOKE OF THE DAY: When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee …
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JOKE OF THE DAY: A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got one in my Yugo!" The driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, "Yes I have a phone." The driver of the Yugo says, "Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there too? I've got a fridge in the back seat of my Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls, looking annoyed, says, "Yes
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